


Just Two Math Dorks

by writteninweakness



Category: Amnesia (Game & Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, Male Friendship, Some Humor, Vignette, depending on the fic, drabble or more fics, some originally posted to tumblr, some requested fills, the friendship these two math dorks have is one of the best parts of the game, to fill prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2020-02-10 16:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 11,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18663844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writteninweakness/pseuds/writteninweakness
Summary: Various short fics of Kent and Ikki friendship. From a month long prompt list, may be filled alternate universe or canon compliant.Now complete. There will be no more additions to this fic.





	1. Advice

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I did try this before. And... I kind of failed. I let the fics be too much about other things and in other universes and couldn't fill things after the first few without using the crossover. I thought about it a lot, and I didn't like that, so I am going to separate out the pieces that are from other universes and focus a bit too much on the ship that either Kent or Ikki is in and keep these as friendship only pieces like they should have been from the beginning.
> 
> The full list of prompts is [here](https://writteninweakness.blogspot.com/2019/11/platonic-prompts-from-march-event.html). I didn't create the list. I just think it would be nice to fill it.

* * *

“Ken, I think I should give you a bit of advice,” Ikki said, shutting the door behind him to the math lab, shaking his head as he did. That poor girl. He had no idea what Ken said to her, but it could not have been good with the way she ran off in tears.

“Why would I need advice?”

“Because you are hopeless with women, and I think we can change that.”

“I am not desperate for a relationship at present, and I hardly think that you would be the one anyone would turn to for romantic advice.”

Ikki laughed. “I know a lot about women.”

“None of your relationships last longer than three months, and if this conversation started because of the woman that just left, it is even more unnecessary.”

“She was crying.”

“She was also not interested in me, only in the fact that we spend time together.”

Ikki frowned. “What?”

Ken rose, putting his book back on the shelf. “Was I unclear? She wanted you, not me. Her entire conversation, despite her initial statement that she wanted to talk to me, was to ask about you. I sent her on her way after it was clear her only intention was to gather information on you. If she desires that, she can join your fan club, not bother me, especially as none of the truth I tell people of you seems to matter anyway. I do not understand why they refuse to accept that we do, in fact, discuss math and that I know nothing of your current girlfriend or… your sex life.”

“She asked you about that?”

“You sound shocked. She was not the first to do so,” Ken said as he sat down again. “I admit that our attempts to determine the cause of your… ‘condition’ may suggest I have other knowledge, but you do not boast to me nor would I tolerate you doing so.”

“Yeah,” Ikki said, shaking his head. “Okay, let me make it up to you. Drinks are on me. Well, I mean, it is two for one night and—”

“Only you find drinking watered down alcohol simply because it is cheaper agreeable.”

Ikki shrugged. It was still usually fun to have a few, but Ken didn’t measure it in fun, only how quickly the alcohol affected him, so he didn’t like it to be less effective. “Fine. I have a better idea. I was going to use these tickets after my next girlfriend confessed to me, but since no one has yet today and I owe you… Your ticket, sir.”

Kent took the paper from him and frowned. “The planetarium?”

“The show’s supposed to be good. I know you were interested in going, so we can go together.”

“You intended this as some kind of romantic activity, and I will likely be looking for inaccuracies in the visual display.”

“That’s fun, too,” Ikki said, not lying because it was. Ken was good at that sort of thing and it made for interesting conversations about science fiction and anime. “Don’t look at me like that. I know better than to lie to you.”

“You know that is a false statement. You enjoy when I take you seriously and it was a joke.”

“Okay, true, but that’s not the point. I like going places with you. I’m always curious what you’ll say to get us kicked out of the next museum.”

“That’s not—that exhibit was inaccurate.”

“And that is why this is going to be fun. Come on.”

 


	2. Wingman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki offers to be Kent's wingman. Kent declines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very nice anon requested I do the wingman prompt with Kent and Ikki at a bar. This is what I came up with.

* * *

“All right, that’s it,” Ikkyu declared, setting his drink down on the table rather loudly and attracting more attention to himself than he already had between the glasses and the way the female population seemed incapable of looking away from him, much to the displeasure of most of the other men in the room. “No more math talk. You need a girlfriend.”

“That is illogical. Even were I to be dating—and I do not feel that it is necessary to do so now considering that I am still pursuing my education and career, not yet time to start a family and pass along my genetics—I would still be interested in math and likely to discuss it.”

Ikkyu shook his head. “No more math talk tonight. You need hobbies. And maybe to get laid.”

“I understand the act can have certain ‘stress-relieving’ aspects and is said to be very pleasurable, but it is hardly a need. I am fine, and should I need such a thing, it would not be any concern of yours. You are my friend, but our sex lives do not and should not intersect.”

Ikkyu nodded. “Agreed. I’m not interested in you like that, you’re not interested in me, but there is a lady out here for you, and we are going to find her.”

“You are already intoxicated, and I do not wish to continue this conversation.”

“Relax. With me as your wingman, you will have a date by the end of the evening.”

Kent reached up to pinch his nose. “You may have more experience in picking up women than I do, and you may get the attention of plenty of them, but that is kind of the point—they’re interested in you, not in me. The inevitable disappointment when you leave them with me even if the conversation appears to be going well is not worth the attempt at starting the conversation in the first place.”

“Come on, Ken. Don’t be like that. You have your attractions as well.”

“I do not need a date. If you are so concerned with having one, you may leave with a woman. I am going back to the lab. Alone.”

“There is more to life than research.”

“Yes, but until I find a woman who appreciates the part of my life that is devoted to it, there is no point in dating, wingman or no wingman.”

“Hmm,” Ikkyu said. “A girl who can appreciate your research… Hey, Ken?”

“What?”

“How much research have you done into pleasing a woman?”

“Goodnight, Ikkyu.”


	3. First Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent's first attempt to tutor the child star Ikki does not go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started considering what would fix the problem I felt with my Math Dorks series, I didn't know what to do until earlier I had what I hope is a brilliant idea... since some ships don't start until the story I wrote, but the friendship between Kent and Ikki goes back much further, I could write in that time before there were romantic pairings on either side. So... I went back to the detective AU/Things Lost in the Fire for this particular first meeting.
> 
> I do have a separate, canon compliant first meeting, but I decided to leave that as a stand alone and create a new piece.
> 
> And it was a bit difficult to do, but this does explain why Ikki said he wanted to learn about math and take the "smug" Kent down a peg or two.

* * *

“You look funny.”

“That is perhaps because you are intoxicated, or at least I believe that is the reason you almost puked on my shoes,” Kent said, folding his arms over his chest. He redid the calculations again, trying to determine if this was worth it or not. He was getting paid, that was not in debate, and tutoring did seem to impress others when placed on a resume or application to a university. Still, if this was the student he was expected to teach, he did not believe the money would be worth it.

“I think it’s your coat. What is with all the buckles? Are you into bondage?”

Kent frowned. “I fail to see why anyone would enjoy bondage, though there is some research into the connection between pain and pleasure in the brain that might suggest otherwise. Personally, I have never thought it would be appealing. It would interfere with productivity.”

“You use a lot of big words. You remind me of the alien from season… three, was it? He talked in a lot of big words. He was small, though. They had a kid stand in for him and make him shrink on camera with special effects. People were not pleased, but then I think they would have been just as made if someone who was born small had gotten the role.”

Kent could feel a headache forming. “I take it no one informed you I would be coming? Or are you not actually Ikkyu?”

“Shh,” the boy said, putting a finger to his lips. “Don’t say that name. It’s forbidden.”

Kent shook his head. “Clearly this is a waste of my time. You do not seem capable of learning anything.”

He started to walk away, ignoring the crash he heard. He was at the door when something hit it, blocking his path.

“Did you just call me an idiot?”

“It would seem that you are, though that could be the alcohol talking.”

“I think if you’re so smart, you should prove it. Um… Oh, I know, they were talking about this in the script. It was… Let’s see… You couldn’t separate two cubes into a third cube and the fourth was… some great power and… there’s a big explosion and… Um… It was about physics, right? They always say this stuff is science fiction, so it’s almost always about space or quantum… stuff.”

“That is a mathematical theorem, actually, quite a famous one as it was unproven for over three hundred years. What you have so badly corrupted is what is now known as Fermat’s Last Theorem, though it was often called a conjecture prior to 1995. The theorem held that a cube could not be separated into two cubes and a fourth power could not be separated into two powers… any power higher then the second into two like powers. It had been proved for all primes under four million, which I did a few proofs myself to coincide with my father’s. He was interested in ones that Kummer could not prove, as was I, though we were hardly the only ones who did. Many others have built on Fermat’s work up until it was proved and after, in fact, and the modularity theorem is also fascinating in its—you look like you are about to vomit again.”

“My brain hurts. I don’t know if I understood _any_ of that. You did, though, so you must be some kind of genius. You said you had proof. Let’s see it.”

“Very well,” Kent said, reaching into his pocket and taking out his phone, finding the image of his latest proof for the theorem. “There.”

“That… is that a foreign language?”

“That is math.”

“It is?”

“Why do I have the sudden conviction that you do not even know basic addition?”

“I know math. I know...” Ikkyu burped. “I know any of the stuff they made me learn for this television show.”

“Then clearly you know nothing. Now excuse me.”

“No.”

“This is a waste of—”

“Give me the math problem. I’m going to do it and prove you wrong.”

“I highly doubt it.”

“I can be very stubborn when I want something. Trust me, I will solve your little math problem.”

Kent doubted that very much. He opened the workbook he’d brought along to use and took a page out of it. “Here. If you can solve this, then we will talk.”


	4. Watching a Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent is baffled by Ikki's need for popcorn. Ikki, in turn, is baffled by Kent not knowing why it's important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow I didn't think Kent would understand how popcorn is synonymous with movies in some places, even if he's right and we don't always have popcorn with our movies. That became fic.

* * *

“I brought the popcorn.”

Kent frowned. “Is it actually customary to eat popcorn while watching an educational film?”

Ikkyu stopped, staring at Kent as if what he had just said was absurd, though Kent failed to see why it would be so wrong. He had never been given popcorn when watching a film in class, and he did not think that most people would have that kind of snack while watching one. That was an exaggeration brought on by false media representations, wasn’t it? He was almost certain that it had to be one.

“Popcorn with movies is like a rule.”

“In depictions of western culture, yes, though I highly doubt they are mandatory for every film viewing.”

Ikkyu sat down next to him. “I am starting to think that there are a lot of basic traditions that you have never experienced in life, and frankly that scares me a little. What are your parents like? Do you even have parents?”

“I told you before that I lived with them.”

Ikkyu nodded. “You did, but I’m still wondering about you.”

“There is nothing wrong with me. Or my parents. My father is a mathematician. My mother is a lawyer. They are quite practical people with busy lives and important work.”

“Actually, that does explain a lot, though I will still have to meet them,” Ikkyu said, shoving the bowl at Kent. “Eat. What are we watching, anyway?”

“A film on the creation of the—”

“Got a better one. It’s even about math.”

“What?”

“Just trust me.”

“I don’t.”

Ikkyu grinned, getting up and going to the player. He put the disc inside and set the one from the library aside. “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

“This is another one of your horror films, isn’t it?”

“No.”

Kent didn’t believe that for a second. “I thought you said watching them with me was impossible because I always point out the flaws in their logic and how none of the characters have any sign of basic intelligence.”

“You do,” Ikkyu said. “But that’s what makes watching movies with you fun.”

“Are you certain you have not suffered some kind of brain damage lately?”

Ikkyu laughed.


	5. Singing Karaoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent doesn't want to go to a karaoke bar. Ikki does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write this prompt before and couldn't. I even tried writing around it in the crossover, since I discuss them doing karaoke for a party, but it still wasn't right.
> 
> I can't see Kent ever doing karaoke, which is a bit of a shame because I like to sing, but... it's not really him.

* * *

 “I’m not going in there.”

Ikki stopped, hand on the door and frown on his face. “You said you wanted to go out for drinks. We’re here. Why are you being weird about it now?”

“Ikkyu, that is a karaoke bar.”

“I know, but they have happy hour, too, and drinks are half-price, so let’s go,” Ikki said, pulling on Ken’s arm and trying to get him inside. Ken stayed rooted to his spot, shaking his head again.

“If you think I will become intoxicated enough to embarrass myself in such a manner, you are mistaken. I do not sing. Not in public, not in private, and there is a very, very good reason for that, I can assure you. It will not happen, now let go of me.”

Ikki laughed. “Most of the people here can’t sing. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about having fun. We’re just here to drink.”

Ken shook his head. “Your definition of those words needs improvement. We have never ‘just’ done what you said we would any other time, whether we were ‘just shopping for a few things,’ ‘just having one drink,’ or even ‘just a few minutes.’ Last time you said that, it was six hours.”

“You could use more alcohol.”

“My tolerance is better than yours, and not entirely because of my body weight.”

Ken had him in height, but Ikki did have him beat in muscle mass. They both knew that. “Still missing the point. Let’s go have some drinks.”

“I am not singing.”

“Fine. You don’t have to.”

“And you?”

Ikki just grinned.


	6. Hurt/Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cycle is getting to Ikki again. Kent does his best to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... I'd point at Things Lost in the Fire or the terrible AU as having much better examples of Kent and Ikki hurt/comfort moments.
> 
> Still, this would be one between them considering canon.

* * *

“It’s never going to end,” Ikkyu said, looking up from his drink and shaking his head. “It’ll always be like this. Three months and gone. They come, they say they love me, and they leave me. Over and over, they leave me. I don’t even want to care anymore, but I do. I do care. I want more. I don’t want to do this anymore. No one will ever love me—me, not my eyes—they won’t love me.”

Kent had heard similar comments from Ikkyu before, probably even from the first time the other man became intoxicated in his presence. Ikkyu struggled with these thoughts often, and they frequently found a voice when Ikkyu’s inhibitions were lowered.

That was, Kent supposed, why Ikkyu only drank this much around him and not around his girlfriends. Kent did not know if that would make any difference if one of them knew. The way things began with most of them, he doubted it, though he was far from an expert on the matter.

“I do not believe it is as impossible as you think.”

Ikkyu lifted his head. “You’re all about logic. And reason. Wouldn’t you say the pattern is… set? It’s permanent. It won’t change. Never.”

“Never is a word best avoided outside of certain mathematical proofs, as my father would say. You cannot deal in absolutes with most things in our existence.”

“Right. Only two certainties in life—death and taxes.”

“And math.”

Ikkyu snorted with laughter. “You would say that. Damn, I didn’t think anything could make me laugh right now, but you did. Thank you.”

“I much prefer it over your attempts to snuggle.”

Ikkyu laughed again. “You are hilarious.”

“No, you are drunk,” Kent said, going over to the cabinet. He opened it and took out a blanket, carrying it back to the couch. He set it over Ikkyu’s feet and spread it up to his chin. “Sleep it off. Tomorrow we can start another attempt at determining the cause of your ‘condition.’”

“It’s a real thing, Ken. You know it is.”

Kent still had his doubts, but Ikkyu would not want to hear that. “We will work on finding a solution. Now rest.”

“You really think there is one?”

“I do. At the very least, I believe changing your dating habits might help. As would getting rid of the fan club.”

“Ken—”

“We can find other possibilities as well, but you should consider it. I believe they do you more harm than help.”

Ikkyu sighed. “I… maybe you’re right, Ken. You… you really are my only friend. Thank you.”

“You are welcome. Now sleep.”


	7. Pillow Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki thinks he wants to have a pillow fight. Kent does not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't picture them having a pillow fight. So I wrote this.
> 
> If someone has a suggestion, I'd accept it, but for now... this is the best I could do.

* * *

 “I want an anime pillow fight.”

“Ask your fan club.”

Ikki grimaced. He supposed he probably could. It would come close to one of those if not mirror it in full horror. He could picture it getting very, very bad, and that was assuming Rika took her hat off. If she didn’t…

Ikki shuddered.

“I see you have reconsidered. That seems wise.”

Ikki eyed Ken with suspicion. “I find it interesting that you are so set against the idea. Knowing your parents and you, I have a hard time believing that you have ever had a pillow fight, so… why would you be so worried? You haven’t even seen that much anime despite my best efforts.”

Ken grimaced. “You are aware that when you drink you do it often to excess.”

“I do not.”

“You do.”

“I still didn’t hit you with a pillow.” Ikki couldn’t remember ever doing that, and he would think that would stick with him, drunk or not. Ken’s expression would have been hilarious.

“No, but when you drink, you become… cuddly.”

“You say that word like it’s some kind of curse or something out of a horror film.” Ikki shook his head. “Cuddling can be very nice.”

“For other people, perhaps, but I have no interest in it, and certainly not with you, yet you when you are intoxicated, are quite fond of grabbing the first thing you find to cuddle with and call your pillow. The number of times that has been me is… I would rather not speak of it.”

Ikki laughed. “Oh. I see. Yeah, I suppose you wouldn’t want a pillow fight, would you?”

“It is not that funny.”

“Oh, it’s hilarious.”

 


	8. Sports

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent and Ikki discuss sports.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one I owe to an anonymous prompter who suggested Kent as a pole vaulter when I said, "I can't write about sports."
> 
> I did include this one before, and it still stands as a friendship piece, so I'm keeping it in with the other prompts.

* * *

“It’s the Olympics, Ken. You can’t _not_ watch the Olympics.”

Kent shook his head. “I can, and I won’t because I have far more important things to do, including but not limited to my research. Besides, I fail to see the point in watching such a competition.”

Ikkyu sighed. “I know you don’t like sports, but this is the Olympics. It’s different from a normal game you might watch on television or even at a stadium. This only comes every four years, and most countries in the world are involved.”

“That does not improve matters any.”

Ikkyu frowned. “How can you say that? Come on, I know the great love of your life is math, but didn’t you ever pretend to be a part of the Olympic team as a kid? I bet you have. I can picture you perfectly. You put your sports goggles on, you do a good stretch, and then you leap over that bar and sail to the other side. Admit it—you’d be a good pole vaulter.”

Kent was not sure where Ikkyu got these sort of ideas, though he supposed there might be some truth to that. “I would likely be able to calculate the best pole placement and rate of acceleration in my head while competing, which might give me an advantage over others, and I suppose my height would be a factor as well, though it is the vertical propulsion that is of greatest concern, and I do not know that my speed would be enough.”

“See? I knew you’d thought about it.”

“I am more concerned that you have, to be honest,” Kent said, frowning again at the other man. Then he shook his head. “At any rate, you have missed my point entirely. I think that, for all that the Olympics is touted as an international event and something that is meant to show cooperation and a force for peace, it is very much counter to its purpose in encouraging nationalism and competition. All that matters is who wins gold, and no one even remembers other performances.”

Ikkyu stared at him. “Wow, Ken, that’s… surprisingly insightful of you.”

“I am not an idiot.”

“I never said you were. It’s just that you’re not usually one to think of the emotional side of any given issue.”

Kent could not argue that. Emotions got in the way of empirical research and compromised results. He would prefer not to deal with such things at all. “That is true, but there does seem to be an emotional side to any viewing of sports, since one generally does out of some sort of… bond they perceive between them and the team or even nostalgia for their former days of athleticism.”

“Or it’s about alcohol.”

“You would use sports as an excuse to drink.”

Ikkyu grinned at him. “Of course. So… my place, a few beers, and the Olympics?”

“No.”


	9. Caught in the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki finds having a tall friend convenient. Kent not so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have any idea what Kent and Ikki would do in the rain. Math problems? Probably.
> 
> This bit of silliness did come to me, though, so I wrote it.

* * *

“Stay there,” Ikki said, trying to keep Ken in front of him. Ken tried to turn around and look at him, but Ikki shifted positions again. “No. Stay like that.”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“It is clearly not nothing or you would not be trying to hide from me. Have you put something on my back? It would hardly be the first time such a juvenile stunt was done to me, and I admit I rarely felt it when the notes were attached to my uniform jacket, but this is absurd. I thought… well, never mind that. Clearly that was a mistake.”

Ikki lifted his head, frowning. “You really think I’d do that to you?”

“If it amused you enough, yes.”

Ikki sighed. He supposed he wasn’t always the best friend there ever was, but Ken did not deserve that. “It’s not that at all. I promise.”

“Then what are you doing? It is making me very uncomfortable.”

Ikki laughed. He supposed it would, wouldn’t it? “Um, it’s just that… well… you block the rain.”

“I see.”

“Thank you?”

“I am not certain ‘thank you’ is the appropriate response, but very well.”

“I promise I’ll make it up to you once the train gets here.”

“Oh, I have already determined the next math problem I am going to give you.”

“Um...”

“Ah, here comes the train,” Ken said, and he sounded way too happy about that. This was not good. Ikki was probably going to cry when he saw that next math problem.

It was worth it, right?


	10. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki thinks it is a road trip. Kent does not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt "road trip" was requested by an anonymous guest at tumblr. I owe that an anon a lot for other fics and support. This one was just a short bit of maybe fun, though.
> 
> This was posted before, and it remains a nice bit of friendship, I think, so it stays.

* * *

“What is this?”

Ikki looked over at Ken and grinned. He’d pretty much expected that reaction, and it didn’t disappoint. Ken’s expression alone was priceless. “It’s the ‘greatest road trip playlist ever.’’

“Road trip as in… the American vernacular term? Ikkyu, we are only driving to Shinano. We checked. It will be about a two hour drive.”

Ikki shrugged. Sure, they weren’t going completely cross-country like was shown in countless films and montages, but it was still a long drive for them, especially since they almost never drove anywhere. This was a rare opportunity for them, and he intended to make the most of it.

“This music… will all be like this? In American English as well?”

“Don’t be like that. You understand English.”

“To a point, though I still find it difficult to explain the concepts that you and I can discuss naturally. Even just trying speak of basic algebraic theories is rather… unsatisfactory.”

“I understand you just fine,” Ikki said, since he did, and he didn’t have a problem with what Ken said or how he said it, in English or Japanese. Besides, one didn’t have to speak the language to enjoy the music. Sure, sometimes it was a little iffy because the song could be about anything, but he didn’t think these ones would be a problem at all. They sounded good.

Besides, if he got Ken to sing along with any of them, he’d win.

Bonus points if it was Queen’s _Bohemian Rhapsody._

Until then, though, Ikki would just enjoy this.

_On the road again. I just can’t wait to get on the road again. The life I love is making music with my friends. And I can’t wait to get on the road again…_


	11. Sharing Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki is drunk, so he wants to share secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this idea a while ago for this particular scene, but it didn't want to be written during my stage where I couldn't write fluff. I am not even sure why it was able to be done today, but I am a bit worried it shouldn't have been. Hmm.

* * *

“Ken?”

He tried not to sigh, not wanting to look over at Ikkyu. This position was never comfortable, and he regretted allowing himself to be caught in it. He had somehow miscalculated the amount of alcohol his friend had consumed and made the mistake of sitting down next to him just as Ikkyu shifted from philosophical to clingy.

He must have been drinking a bit before he came. That was the only explanation for the errors in Kent’s math.

He eyed his own glass. Well, perhaps that was a factor as well, though he did not feel much of any effect from the alcohol.

“What?”

“Do you want to know a secret?”

Kent considered that. Knowing Ikkyu and as much about the other man as he did, he found there were likely few things he did not know—certainly he knew much more than he wanted to, often because of moments like this.

Ikkyu lifted his head. “Ken?”

“I think it best you sleep this off.”

“But I want to tell you a secret. It’s special.”

Kent sighed. “Very well. What is this secret?”

“You’re my best friend.”

“I do not believe that qualifies as a—”

“Shh. You’re my very bestest friend, and no one will ever change that. We will be giving each other math puzzles and making them weapons until the day we die. But… you can’t go first. That just isn’t fair.”

“Ikkyu, I am older than you.”

“No. We go together. Or else I’ll be very lonely. You’re all I’ve got, Ken. Forget about all those women. They never stay. And everyone else is jealous and hates me, but you… you just accept me as me. And that’s special. Bestest of bestest friend.”

Kent pinched his nose. “I think it best we work on possible solutions to your condition. You sound rather… your words are… unsettling.”

“See? You really, really care.”

Kent grimaced. “Perhaps, but you can consider that a secret, too.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. It’s a secret. We won’t tell anyone we’re bestest friends.”

“Go to sleep, Ikkyu.”


	12. Cuddling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki is drunk again. Kent is in an uncomfortable position again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized after I did "Sharing Secrets" it could have/should have been "Cuddling."
> 
> Then I revisited the idea today and realized it could still be done, even if it is somewhat similar, and I wrote this.
> 
> Cuddling is number thirteen on the list. I'm going to skip number twelve and put its replacement at the end, but I'm hoping to fill in some more of the gaps so I am no longer reordering things each time I fill one of these.

* * *

“Hmm. Ken makes the bestest, bestest pillow ever.”

Kent sighed. He’d known that it was unlikely to end well when he’d heard how drunk Ikkyu was on the phone, but since he was unfortunately quite likely to injure himself if he carried through with some of what he’d said he was going to do in that same conversation, Kent had felt he had no choice but to go over to the other man’s apartment.

Ikkyu could get self-destructive when his relationships ended, and this was no exception.

“Ken?”

“If you are asking me for anything other than assistance to your bedroom, the answer is no. I do not want to sing, dance, or—you know, I don’t even know what that term means, but I don’t want to know. I do want you to let go of me and sleep this off. I am not a pillow, and you know I dislike being used as one.”

Ikkyu started pouting. “Ken never wants to snuggle with me.”

“That is… very true,” Kent had to admit. “This is… extremely unpleasant.”

Ikkyu shook his head. “No, see, you don’t understand because your parents are logical near robots and you are a logical near robot, so you don’t see the good in physical contact, but it’s very, very good. And don’t give me that face. I’m not talking about sex—I don’t want that with you—I am talking about basic human needs here. You know they did studies and stuff on it. There’s that thing about the one baby in a hospital who thrived because of care from a cleaning lady and—”

“Anecdotal evidence is not proof.”

“Says you because you don’t know how nice it is to cuddle.”

“I really wish you were not so prone to ending your relationships as you are. Go cuddle with your new girlfriend and leave me out of it.”

“I need to find someone who will cuddle forever. Why is that not my best friend? That should be part of best friend duties.”

“Then I will reclaim my role as your arch-nemesis, thank you.”

Ikkyu laughed. “Oh, Ken. You know I love you. In the purest, most wonderfulest platonic sense.”

“If you start talking about how ancient Greek had words for each kind of love—”

“Yes, that. I have _philia_ for you and _storge_ and maybe a bit of _agape_ but not _eros._ That’s right, isn’t it? I love you like a brother and a best friend and you’re like family and of course that all goes under the last one which is love for all—”

“Your actual coherency now is leading me to suspect that you are more sober than you were pretending, and if that is the case—”

“Ken?”

“What?”

“It’s nice to cuddle with you.”

“I am getting you a dog.”

“Why?”

“So I never have to do this again.”


	13. Board Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki is a bit frustrated playing a game with Kent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did already do this prompt once but it was more about Kent/Heroine shippiness than just a friendship piece, so I separated it out. This one is just the two of them being a bit silly.
> 
> Board Games is number fourteen on the list.

* * *

“Are you certain you wish to place that there?”

Ikki paused over the game board and sighed. “Ken, for the last time, we agreed—no mind games. You don’t get to ask questions like that and make me doubt my strategy, okay?”

“I am not playing mind games. I am genuinely confused as to why you would want to place your piece there when it seems that you do not have to do so. If I understand the rules of this game correctly, then you do not, in fact, have to place it there, and it seems counter-intuitive to any ‘strategy’ you might be playing with at all.”

Ikki sat back in his chair. “You know, when I said maybe this time we shouldn’t play Go because our games take too long, I did not think you would make such a production out of this one.”

“How is this making a production? I asked a question because I have never played this game before and you have.”

“Yes,” Ikki agreed. “And I never thought anyone could make _Chutes and Ladders_ complicated, but leave it to you, Ken, to do just that.”


	14. Truth or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki tries to persuade Kent into a game. Kent does not want to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for this silliness came to me, so I figured I'd better write it down while I still remembered it.
> 
> Truth or Dare is number fifteen on the list.

* * *

“No. Absolutely not.”

“This is a time honored tradition, Ken. And you’ve never done it before, so why wouldn’t you want to try it out at least once? It can be your second childhood, a rite of passage—”

“Ikkyu, no. I am not interested in either of those things, and only a fool would agree to play a game called ‘Truth or Dare’ with you. I don’t even want to think about the sorts of things you’d suggest as a dare. Most of them would be humiliating if not potentially fatal.”

Ikki frowned. “Would I do that?”

“Yes, you would, and no, I am not agreeing to play with you. Go and find one of those idiots from your fan club if you insist on playing this absurd game. I refuse to participate.”

“You’re scared.”

“I am being prudent. I know you too well.”

“That’s so not fair, Ken. I am a perfectly reasonable man.”

Ken folded his arms over his chest. “Oh, are you now? Then tell me why there was a stuffed plush of you burning in effigy when we got to work yesterday.”

“Misunderstanding. Complete and utter misunderstanding,” Ikki said, waving that off. “I will fix that just as soon as I kill Shin.”

“Right. I am still not playing this game with you.”

“Not even if I made it easy on you and picked truth?”

Ken adjusted his glasses. “No. I don’t believe you would ‘make it easy’ as you claim.”

“Oh, come on. I could ask something as simple as ‘who is your best friend?’ And that would be fine, wouldn’t it? Admit it—you could do that.”

Ken sighed. “Very well. In the interest of ending this conversation for good, I will agree to this just once with the provisions you specified. Truth.”

Ikki grinned. “Who do you have a crush on?”


	15. Water Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki had an incident at a water park. Kent believes this is his own fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Water Park is number sixteen on the prompt list.

* * *

 

“I can’t believe she tried to hold me under the water,” Ikki muttered, shaking his head and trying to get more of the water out of his ears. “I almost drowned.”

Ken didn’t even look up from the book he was reading. So much for dragging him along to the water park today. Sometimes Ikki swore that man didn’t know how to have any fun at all—but then he also knew it wasn’t true, since they had plenty of fun together.

“I believe you have no one but yourself to blame for that.”

“Excuse me? Here I am your best friend, I nearly drowned and had to be rescued by a lifeguard whose idea of resuscitation was frankly scary, and you are not the least bit sympathetic. You could try, just a little. You’d miss me if I was gone. Admit it.”

“It is difficult to have any ‘sympathy’ for you as you put it when you did, in fact, bring it on yourself,” Ken said, setting down his book as if to make his point. “After all, your choice of pick up line in this case was ‘I like long walks on the ocean floor.’”

Ikki grimaced. “Well, that’s—”

“You argued it was fitting because we are at a water park and multiple pools are themed with an ocean motif. I am not sure I can blame her for taking you up on your offer. True, there is a certain lack of intelligence to her actions, but since she was pursuing you, I believe that is fairly typical and even expected.”

“Hey, that’s not—”

“The effect of your eyes turns them essentially into mindless drones, so you should not be surprised when they act like morons.”

Ikki sighed. “Gee, thanks, Ken. I know you didn’t want to come today, but did you really have to go ruining water parks for me, now, too?”

Ken folded a paper and stuck it in his book. “I am not ruining anything for you. However, it would be wise for you to exercise a bit more discretion in such circumstances.”

“Well, you weren’t willing to go on any of the rides with me. So I had to find someone that was.”

“Yes. I suppose you did.”

Ikki frowned, suddenly suspicious. “Wait a minute, that paper. Did I see numbers on it? As in… a phone number?”

“I told you,” Ken said as he gathered up his towel. “You should act with more discretion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw a prompt that was "I like long walks on the ocean floor."
> 
> And... I thought Ikki might use that, and when I combined it with water park, this happened.


	16. Silly Debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent and Ikki have differing opinions on what makes a good movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been... a long time since I did one of these. I kept hoping to get back to them and finish the list, but my inspiration has been very hit and miss and so has my health, so... it took a while. Last night after bouncing between a few stories and refusing to do updates, it chose this.
> 
> *shrugs*
> 
> I wasn't really sure about it, it felt like my Kent and Ikki banter failed me, but... it made others laugh, so...
> 
> Silly Debate is number seventeen on the prompt list, so I've moved this chapter into that relative position until I get the others written.

 

* * *

“It’s science fiction.”

“You mean science _fallacy._  There’s not one accurate thing in that whole mess.”

Ikki shook his head, reaching for his beer. “I repeat, it’s science fiction. By definition, it’s not real. It’s just entertainment. We’re not even talking about speculative fiction. This isn’t about exploring certain possibilities—”

“Which is fortunate, considering that  _none_ of it is possible,” Ken countered, and Ikki shrugged. He’d actually liked the movie despite the flaws in its logic. He could ignore them for the sake of a decent story—and an even more decent looking actress—which this one had several of those, a true mix of strong female leads, very diverse—and very attractive.

“Some of it was. And besides, the characters were good.”

“How can you say that when they were all idiots using a flawed premise and faulty logic? None of that would have worked in reality, so they’d be dead.”

Ikki shrugged. “They made it sound plausible.”

Ken narrowed his gaze. “You are only saying that because of the size of that woman’s… I mean… you likely could not say anything about her face since your eyes were on her chest as she spouted her scientific idiocy.”

“Hmm. I’m starting to think you’re intellisexual. You’d only be attracted to a sharp mind.”

“That is not the point of this conversation. How can you sit there and say that was a good movie when the whole thing was inaccurate, the science was not just implausible but Chernobyl meltdown or even destruction of the universe bad, and the one redeeming quality it seemed to possess was having an attractive cast?”

“Ah. So you did like that little redhead. I knew it.”

Ken grimaced. “Ikkyu, you are ridiculous. Not everything is about sex.”

“Oh, everything is about sex.”

“Not math.”

“You want me to prove it?”

“No.”

“I could.”

“I said no.”

“Did I mention there is a sequel?”


	17. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki sees something which leads to an admission that Kent should not have made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, so I did end up deleting my tumblr account where I was hosting my list of these prompts, and I have since moved hosting it to another place.
> 
> I was going to do something about why Ikki went into the room, but the conversation flowed more naturally like this, and I finally had a fill for dancing again.
> 
> Dancing is number eighteen on the list.

* * *

“Oh, my eyes. My eyes...”

“If this is about your ‘condition’ again, Ikkyu, I have no desire to hear about it. I am very busy with this presentation and then after that I have to meet my parents at the restaurant and—”

“No, no, it’s not that. It’s this,” Ikkyu said, grabbing hold of Kent and pushing him toward the door for his professor’s office. “Inside that door is a sight terrifying beyond belief. I didn’t think it was even possible, but it is, and it’s… horrifying. My eyes are burning.”

“If our math professor has died, you should be informing campus authorities, not being needlessly dramatic about it.”

Ikkyu shook his head. “It’s not a dead body. That might actually be less traumatic. The only thing dead in there is that man’s sense of rhythm.”

Kent frowned, pulling away from Ikkyu. “Are you telling me you are reacting this much to the sight of our professor… dancing?”

“Yes. It was like torture.”

“Ikkyu.”

“You didn’t even look. You’d understand if you looked.”

“Not particularly, seeing as I cannot dance, either, so it could just as well be me in such a circumstance were I foolish enough to attempt to learn,” Kent said, and Ikkyu frowned at him. “I see no reason to continue this conversation.”

“Oh, there are so many reasons to continue this conversation. Ken can’t dance. This is a tragedy that we must fix.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Kent’s sense of self-preservation was setting off plenty of warning alarms within him now. He started to back off from his friend. “Ikkyu, get away from me. Now.”

“Not until you learn to dance.”

Kent did a quick calculation, and the most obvious solution seemed best. He ran.


	18. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent and Ikki go shopping and it uncovers some things about Kent that Ikki didn't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shopping was another prompt I wasn't sure about doing, but the anon on tumblr got me to be able to do it. It turned out angstier than requested, though.
> 
> Shopping is number twenty on the list. I was doing them in order, but I'm almost out of the fills I did without Kent/Heroine ship to them and I don't have the inspiration to fill all the ones between the last one and this one. I'll move it to chapter twenty where it should be if I can fill in the others.

* * *

“You’re not going to tell me you’ve never actually been shopping before, are you?” Ikki asked, frowning. He’d never heard of such a thing, and he had eyes that made it impossible to go most places without drawing some sort of crowd. “How is that possible?”

“It is not important,” Ken answered, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. “I do not need to go now, so there is no reason to be here.”

Ikki shook his head. “You just got done telling me that you didn’t have anything for tomorrow, and how can that not be important? You need an outfit.”

“I do not. I already told you I am not going.”

“Using not having an outfit as an excuse,” Ikki said, tempted to drag Ken along by the arm. He knew that Ken wasn’t the social type, but they were talking about something that could have an impact on him being able to study abroad, so why was Ken resisting so much? “Come on. We have a few hours to spare. We’ll take a look.”

“That is inefficient. It is far more practical to order something where precise measurements can be given, just as one can have food prepared to meet certain nutritional requirements or laundry according to instruction.”

Ikki frowned again. “You mean to tell me your family orders in all your meals and has someone else do all your cleaning for you?”

“Of course. It is a waste of time to spend my mother’ s or my father’s time on such matter given their hourly wage, and considering their usual hours, would also put things at such a late time in the day as to be problematic for meals as well as sleep.”

Ikki nodded, filing that away as another one of Ken’s many quirks. He’d found his friend—and his parents, who were even worse than Ken was in some ways—had plenty of them, but as Ikki was a guy with aphrodisiac eyes, he couldn’t really complain. Sometimes being around Ken made him feel completely normal—Ken was just that weird—but most of the time, Ikki was grateful Ken treated him like no one else did—like a real person and not a freak.

Ken was his only real friend. That mattered.

“Mommy, I’m scared,” a little girl announced so loudly she could probably be heard by the entire store. “There’s a monster.”

“There are no monsters—”

“There’s a giant over there, a big mean one.”

Ikki would have laughed if he hadn’t seen her duck behind her mother’s leg and peek out at them with a shudder. Wait a minute. She was talking about Ken? He wasn’t _that_ tall, especially not compared to Ikki. It was a difference of seven centimeters, after all.

He was expecting the mother to chide her daughter, but instead she glanced at Ken and hurried them both out of the store like she was afraid. Ken turned his attention to another rack, though Ikki knew he wasn’t interested in looking at ladies’ coats, not even for his mother’s sake, and his ears were red as well.

Did this happen often when Ken went shopping? Was that the real reason they ordered so much stuff in?

“It’s a stereotype.”

“What?”

“That all Japanese men—and women, I suppose—are short. That is a stereotype. It is a fallacy to assume that all of us are or would be, and it is less and less true these days. Men of this generation are taller than in the past, and there are varying theories as to why that is, but it is not so uncommon.”

Ikki tried not to wince. Ken sounded almost like he was trying to justify his own height, and he shouldn’t have to. There was nothing wrong with how tall Kent was. He wasn’t a giant. Or a monster.

“No, it’s not,” Ikki agreed. “Come on. I know just the right store.”

“This had better not be one of your jokes, Ikkyu. I am not in the mood.”

“Just trust me, okay? I saw a coat there that reminded me of you, and it’s probably even your size.”


	19. Video Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent returns after an absence. Ikki is a bit too overjoyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I didn't know how I was ever going to fill this one, and then I was just about to do something else when Ikki's bit about missing the math puzzles came, and it was too silly to resist.
> 
> Video Games is number nineteen on the list, and while it is just one reference to a specific video game series, I still say it counts.

* * *

“Ken! You’re back! Thank goodness!”

Kent tried to back away but was not fast enough to avoid Ikkyu as the other man rushed for him, embracing him in a ridiculous and exaggerated manner as though Kent had been gone for much longer than the time he’d said he was. This was absurd, and he would say that Ikkyu had been drinking, but he had just walked in the door to Meido No Hitsuji and Waka would never have allowed that.

“Get off of me, Ikkyu.”

“No. I can’t. You’re back, and you don’t know how hard it was without you. I was so desperate for a math challenge I had to play all the _Professor Layton_ games. Even the bad ones.”

Kent pried himself free. “I was not gone that long. This is excessive, even for you.”

“Well, I did break up with another girlfriend, but that’s not the point. You’re my best friend. The creator of all good math puzzles in the universe. You weren’t here. I was miserable.”

“And I am starting to regret coming back.”

“Don’t say that. You missed me. Admit it, you missed me. Why else would you come here first after getting back?”

“My paycheck?”

“That’s cruel. You’re a cruel, cruel man.”

Kent found himself smiling. “We are archrivals, after all.”

“True, so does that mean—”

Kent brandished a puzzle between two fingers, and Ikkyu took it with glee.

“Ooh, yes. This is it. The good stuff. The—holy hell, is this even possible? You bastard. This is—this is impossible. I love it.”

“If you hug me again, you will not get another one. As it is, you are also in danger of being fired.”

Ikkyu cringed. “Oh, damn. Sorry, Waka. I—”

“You will report for basic training first thing tomorrow morning.”

Ikkyu nodded, bowing to Waka. Under his breath, he hissed. “Damn it, Ken, you really _are_ evil.”

Kent shook his head, fighting laughter as he went to collect his paycheck.


	20. Roller Skating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki tries to convince Kent that roller skating would be good for a date. Kent does not agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of hard with some of these because I just don't see Kent doing the activity mentioned ever, and roller skating/ice skating was one of them.
> 
> At least... I don't think Kent would prior to the end of his route in the Clover route, and since I was trying to keep this platonic and not give into my Kent/Heroine OTP ways, I didn't think he was likely to do any such skating thing.
> 
> That's how this happened.
> 
> Roller/Ice Skating is number twenty-one on the list.

* * *

“I’m telling you—if you want a romantic date, you take the girl roller skating. It’s the best thing ever. You can hold hand the entire time because she’s afraid of falling, and then you can pull her in close and do a little spin that’s extremely romantic, and she will love every second of it while you get to do plenty of touching.”

Kent reached over and swatted Ikkyu with his magazine. “If this is your idea of dating advice, you can stop at any time.”

“Hey, there is nothing wrong with what I said. Why are you hitting me with a rolled up paper like I’m some kind of bug?”

Kent gave him a look.

“Not funny, Ken. I am not a bug. Not in the slightest way, even if I do have strange eyes.” Ikkyu reached for the magazine. “See? You’re looking up dating locations and yet ignoring my advice. I am offended.”

“I was reading an article on architecture. You are the one who is obsessed with dating. I don’t see how that could possibly be safe. Such an activity is bound to end in horrible injuries.”

“Then you get to play doctor, which is just as fun if not more so.”

“You’re disgusting. Why would you want to maim your date for life and think that was a way to proceed towards sexual relations?”

“You are way overreacting. In the first place, the usual injuries from a fall are a few bruises at most. And it can be romantic to make a fuss over them.” Ikkyu leaned over into Kent’s face. “You’ve never actually been roller skating, have you?”

“No, and I am not going with you, either.”

“It can be fun to do with friends, too.”

“I do not see how adding to my height and messing with my balance by putting wheels on my feet could ever be wise,” Kent said, eying his foot with suspicion. “No. That is not happening. Go and find some fan club member if that is what you intend to do. I have work to do.”

“You were reading a magazine just now.”

“Yes. Because I needed a break while I was working, and do not say that I would get it going anywhere with you. I am done with my break, and now it is time to go back to work.”

Ikkyu nodded. “Sure it is. By the way, your girlfriend just agreed to go roller skating with you.”

“What? Ikkyu, in the first place—”

“You’ll thank me for it later.”

“I’ll be suing you for it later. That’s unwise. Now where is my phone?” Kent frowned, reaching into his pockets and taking it out only to have Ikkyu burst out laughing.

“Ha! I knew it! You _are_ dating someone. Now fess up. Tell me who she is.”

“No.”

“I’m not going to steal her from you.”

“The answer is still no.”

“But you admit you have a girlfriend.”

“Go away, Ikkyu.”


	21. Camping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki tries to talk Kent into camping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit, part of why I struggled to finish this list is because I don't see Kent doing a lot of these things.
> 
> I also have about zero interest in writing people doing some of these things.
> 
> However, I do have banter, and that helps.
> 
> Camping is number twenty-two on the list.

* * *

“Do you hate nature, then?”

Ken frowned at him, but Ikki had to shrug, because this was hardly the first time his friend had refused to do something out of doors. It wasn’t even that long ago that he’d practically been forced to start walking for his health, since he spent way too much time locked away in his lab, always working, never taking a break.

“You refused to go camping with me. And it’s not the first time you’ve turned down a trip to somewhere with a nice garden or beautiful scenery. You were barely willing to go on that trip to see the meteor shower with the rest of everyone from work. And you experiment on plants. I think I finally understand. Ken hates nature, and he takes it out on the poor helpless plants that are the unfortunate victims of his experiments.”

“Plants, while living organisms, are not sentient. And I am observing nature when I do my experiments. You are once again employing fallacies and twisting facts to your own warped sense of humor.”

“Oh, am I now?”

“Yes, you are. You not only accused me of hating nature but also of torturing it. You are also ignoring that I had things to do when I was asked to go off to these beautiful gardens or other scenery. And quite frankly… it is not appealing to be your second choice for companion when some romantic interlude you’ve planned falls through. I do not wish to be the ‘back up plan’ for when you do not have a date. And before you start, you already told me that camping was how you planned to get your newest girlfriend alone for an extended time because your fan club was worse than usual and some of them actually spied on your dates with the girl before that.”

Ikki grimaced. That part was true. His fan club didn’t seem to be willing to back off or respect the fact that he was dating someone. “That doesn’t mean I was asking you to go to seduce you. We’re just friends. Camping is more fun when you’re not alone. And not just because it’s romantic to cuddle in the tent. There are plenty of reasons to go camping with family or friends. You can do a lot. Hike, explore, fish, have a campfire...”

“I do have to ask why you believe I’d enjoy any of that.”

“Well, okay, maybe you wouldn’t, but I’d certainly enjoy your reaction to a lot of it.”

“And now we have the true reason you asked me to go.”

“No, that’s not—”

“I am not going, Ikkyu.”

He sighed. “Ken, it’s really not like that. And you should broaden your horizons. Get out of the lab. Do something fun.”

“I have plans.”

“What? Since when do you have plans that don’t involve me, your bestest of all best friends?”

Ken smiled but did not answer.


	22. Race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki and Kent compete in the only way they know how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *scoffs* Like Kent and Ikki would have a race over anything but math.
> 
> Race is number twenty-four on the list.
> 
> I swore I was going to try and do these in order, but I failed. Oops.

* * *

“I bet I can finish mine before yours,” Ikki said, and Ken snorted, adjusting his glasses. “I mean it. I found a math problem that will challenge even you, and I will get mine done first. I will win. I know I will. I am just as smart as you.”

“I doubt it. You have a habit of finding problems that you believe are a challenge when they are, in fact, nothing of the sort.”

“I have an even better one than usual. It’s your turn to weep in anguish and taste the bitterness of defeat.”

Ken shook his head. “Again, unlikely.”

“Then let’s up the stakes. If you’re so sure you’ll win, you won’t be intimidated, right?”

Ken frowned. “Exactly what do you mean by ‘upping the stakes,’ Ikkyu? I may not believe you will win, but I also don’t trust you not to twist this situation to your advantage.”

“Consider it like truth or dare. You have to do what I say if I win.”

Ken frowned. “That does not seem worth that grin on your face.”

Ikki just shrugged. Like he would tell Ken what he was thinking of having him do before he agreed. No way. Ken would never agree. He still tried to get out of answering normal questions, and he’d never take the simplest of dares.

“The reverse holds if I win?”

“Yes. Of course. But you won’t win.”

Ken shrugged. “Perhaps not, but it would be foolish to agree to unequal terms. Very well. We will go for the usual reward, and the winner also gets one request. Now hand over your problem so that we may compete.”

Ikki took it out, holding it in his hand. “On the count of three?”

“Very well.”

“One. Two. Three,” Ikki said, passing the problem to Ken and grabbing his. He set to work, sure this time he was going to win.


	23. Relaxing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent just wants to read. Ikki isn't sure that's enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure I knew what to do for this. Or that I could finish these before I abandoned everything.
> 
> Well, I did find something for this one, so I wrote it.
> 
> Relaxing is number twenty-four on the list.

* * *

“Did you want to do something?”

“I am doing something.”

Ikki looked over to see Ken with yet another book. “I meant something fun.”

Ken adjusted his glasses. “This is enjoyable for me. If, however, you are bored, you are quite free to leave. No one is forcing you to stay, nor would they. Your presence is not required. It is not objected to, either, but it is not necessary.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Ken shrugged. “If you are not enjoying yourself, you do not have to stay. That is all I meant. I am fine doing this. We do not have to talk or interact for our time together to be meaningful.”

“Really?”

“There is much to be said for companionable silence.”

Ikki laughed. “Somehow, I’m sure I just got insulted, but I actually don’t care. I will say I love you, too, you know.”

“I definitely did not say that.”

“Yes, you did. You like having me around even when we’re not doing fun stuff. That’s love.”

“You’re delusional. And I think you need to consult a dictionary.”

“Nope. I just take it as further proof that you are my best friend and you love me.”

Ken shook his head and lifted his book. “You may go, Ikkyu. In fact, please do. And before you protest—this is not companionable silence.”

Ikki nodded, well aware of that and yet having no intention of going anywhere. Ken wasn’t wrong. Just hanging out sometimes was nice. A much needed break from his fan club, and time with his best friend was never wasted.

 


	24. Cooking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki is sick. Kent gets roped into cooking him something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw another prompt and attempted to combine the two into this. It doesn't quite work, but it was a bit fun to try.
> 
> Cooking is number twenty-five on the list.

* * *

“Ugh. I’m dying. Dying, I tell you.”

“That is an erroneous statement, and kindly stop repeating it,” Kent said, not sure he could remember how many times Ikkyu had said that since he entered the other man’s apartment. He’d only intended to drop off an assignment Ikkyu had texted him to ask about, but the other man’s insistence upon his imminent demise had given him pause.

Though it would seem Ikkyu only had a cold, he was currently in between girlfriends and living alone, had no one to take care of him. Somehow it fell to Kent to fix this, though he did not see why. With Ikkyu’s fan club, there was always some idiotic girl who wanted to date him, so it would have simply been a matter of asking the leader for someone—and Kent suspected that woman would come herself to do it if given half a chance.

Ikkyu had refused, though, so Kent was the one standing at the stove and preparing a meal to help fortify someone ill. He did not entirely know why, but it was much better if Ikkyu had some of this on hand over what he had been eating when he was too sick to cook for himself.

“That smells wonderful.” Ikkyu sneezed, loudly, and cursed as he searched for his lost handkerchief. “Is it done yet?”

“Not yet. How many times do I have to tell you to be patient?”

“But Ken… I’m dying. You have to make it faster.”

“You are not dying. Go sit down and stop bothering me while I’m making you food.”

Ikkyu sighed, moving back but not leaving the general area of the stove. “You’re too nice, you know. I swear none of my girlfriends would do this for me.”

“I do not care to speculate, but perhaps that is for the best. Their general level of intelligence is not necessarily one that should be trusted with any kind of flame. Also not with food. You might die for real then.”

“That’s mean. You know, some of them are actually quite smart. At least… until my eyes get hold of them. Then…”

“Then they are mindless.”

“Not completely. They just… want me beyond all reason, and they think it’s love when it’s not.”

“I told you—love is just a chemical reaction in the brain.”

“We have got to get you a girlfriend so you realize just how untrue _that_ is,” Ikkyu said, shaking his head. “Once you’re in love, you’ll understand. It’s not about chemicals. And you shouldn’t want it to be. It’s so much better when it’s not.”

“Even you do not know that.”

“I do. I know what I have isn’t love, for one thing, and I know how good the other kind of love is. Friendship is just as important as romantic love. It’s not the same, but it… it matters. More than you know. Which is why I am so glad you’re here with me.” Ikkyu hugged him, and Kent grimaced. Not only was this dangerous and unsanitary, it was uncomfortable as well. “Thank you for being my friend and the nicest person I know and cooking for me. It means so much to me, you know. Now I know I won’t die because my nice friend came and took care of me.”

“Get off.”

“Nope.”

“I can’t finish your food like this, and I am actually quite tempted to grab something sharp and poke you with it to prod you off of me.”

“You wouldn’t. You’re a nice person.”

“Keep saying that, and you will hear from my mother.”

Ikkyu frowned, pulling back. “What? Why are you bringing her into this?”

“If you keep insisting on spouting nonsense, I will have to take some form of legal action, and since my mother is a lawyer—”

“Right. Of course. That’s awesome,” Ikkyu said, grinning. “Let’s do that. We can have a family dinner.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No. Now go and eat your soup.”


	25. Puppies/Kittens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki finds some kittens. Naturally this means some belong to Kent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame that picture of Kent with the cats. It's too adorable for words.
> 
> Puppies/Kittens is number twenty-six on the list.

* * *

“You like cats, right?”

Kent frowned, but before he had time to question why Ikkyu was asking him that, he found a live animal in front of his face and backed up instinctively as it mewed at him. He looked past it to Ikkyu, still frowning.

“What is this?”

“Your cat.”

“I do not have a cat, and I do not know that I want to know why you have a box of them,” Kent said, though he had to reach up and take the one out of Ikkyu’s hold before it suffered a fall or even just a fatal squeeze from how it was squirming about.

“Someone threw them out, Ken. How can a person do that? Throw away life like that? I don’t understand. I just don’t.” Ikkyu collapsed into the other chair, sighing. “Look at them. They’re all so adorable. And helpless. It’s not right.”

Kent adjusted the position of the cat in his arms. “Some do not see the value of pets. I admit I do not quite understand them or the attachment others have for them. I find animal behavior fascinating but do not know that I would ever consider one… family as some do.”

Ikkyu shook his head. “That is why you’re keeping that one. You will understand soon enough. You know what? Have two.”

“Ikkyu—”

“There. That’s perfect. Now I have to convince my landlord to let me keep the rest.”


	26. Baby-Sitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki has his cousin for the weekend. Kent does not think this is wise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first time I wrote this, it was a short thing in the Logical Choice universe where Ikki gave Kent the baby when Sawa was in labor with their second child. It was funny, but it missed the point of platonic fic, so I separated it out.
> 
> It took a long time for me to find another approach to it, but I finally did.
> 
> Baby-sitting is number twenty-seven on the list.

* * *

“If this is another one of your schemes to get some woman to date you, I refuse.”

Ikki laughed, shaking his head. Ken really should know by now that Ikki needed no help in that department. He had a whole fan club of girls eager to date him. He just didn’t have anyone willing to _love_ him, not real love, lasting love. He knew he was luckier than most. He’d found his platonic soulmate, at least.

“No, this is not a scheme. This is is my guest for the weekend. Say hello to my best friend Ken, Akito.” The boy moved to hide behind Ikki’s legs. He sighed. “Well, he is a bit shy, which is part of why my cousin thought I’d be better for this than anyone else. Who else could get him out of his shell?”

“I believe your cousin must have been desperate indeed to choose you of all people, to watch her son. Not only are you young, single, and promiscuous—”

“Now that is a vicious lie. I am very loyal to my girlfriend when she’s my girlfriend. It’s just that none of them ever stay—”

“Our culture, despite certain portrayals in exaggerated media, on the whole favors reserve and bearing things with calm and good manners. No one wants their child dragged out of their shell in imitation of you.”

“That hurts, Ken. It really does.”

Behind him, though, someone giggled, and Ikki looked back at his cousin with a frown. Akito flushed and tried to look for somewhere to hide.

“You don’t really think it’s funny when he insults me, do you? Or do you like Ken’s silly way of talking and all his big words?”

“I do not talk silly. And I am—”

“Well, good. You two will get along just fine while I go take care of some things.”

“What?” Ken’s face was rather comical, and Ikki barely restrained his laughter. “You are not leaving that child with me. I don’t know what to do with them. They’re small. And strange. And they don’t like me.”

“You’ll be fine. It won’t take long. Just don’t give him any math problems above his grade level.”

“Ikkyu—”

“I know. I owe you,” Ikki said, grinning as he quickly made his escape.


	27. Gardening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki thinks he knows why Kent's experiments involve plants. Kent disagrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I wrote this with one of my AUs, but I cut it when I reorganized it and that piece is one of the scenes in the "Rescued from the Science Lab" AU. 
> 
> Gardening is number twenty-eight on the list.

* * *

“Have you figured out what the best one is yet?” Ikki asked, looking at a particularly brown plant that had to have gotten the worst of whatever it was Ken was using as food or water this time around. Somehow, despite all the years and all the time Ken spent doing other things, he seemed to come back to this kind of experiment over and over again.

“Best what?”

“Soil. Nutrient. Water. Whatever it is you’re testing for this time so you don’t have to admit that you really just want to garden.”

“I do not want to garden.”

“Says the man whose experiments always involve plants.”

“Human experimentation is illegal.”

Ikki choked, coughing and frowning as he did. “That was a joke, right, Ken? That was just you trying to be funny.”

“It is a statement of facts.”

“Again, you’re teasing. I can see that bit of a smirk.” Ikki shook his head. “You almost had me there for a minute. Too bad I know you too well.”

“Obviously not. You think I like to garden.”

“I’m really not sure why you’re trying to deny it, but okay, you hate gardening. That’s why you keep so many plants around all the time.”

“Exactly.”

Ikki winced. “Ken, that’s not funny.”

“I never said I was trying to be funny.”

“Good. Because you’re not.”


	28. Yoga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki expected Kent for yoga. Kent refuses to do any such thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I looked at the yoga prompt, I was like "why is this even a prompt? Who writes about yoga?"
> 
> And I said as much. And the anon said they pictured Ikki doing a class for his fan club.
> 
> And this happened and it's kind of a favorite of mine of these.
> 
> Yoga is number twenty-nine on the list. I was doing them in order, but this is the last of the fills I did without Kent/Heroine or Ikki/Sawa ship to them and I don't have the inspiration to fill all the ones I'm missing right now. I'll move it to chapter twenty-nine where it should be if I can fill in the others.

* * *

“You’re not dressed.”

Kent frowned, looking down at his coat and confirming that all the buckles were, in fact, buckled. They were. He folded his arms over his chest. “I am fully dressed.”

Ikkyu shook his head. “It’s yoga class, Ken. You’re supposed to be in yoga pants. Workout clothes. Active wear. Sweat pants. Any of the above.”

Kent shook his head. “I told you I wanted no part of this. You may have been foolish enough to agree to do this, but I am not. I have spoken to you before about your weakness to women and your fan club in particular, and this is excessive to an extreme. You do realize that the only reason why they asked you to do this—”

“For exercise and relaxation—”

“—is because they wish to see you in such a ridiculous and overly form-fitting piece of attire. While those clothes do cover your body, they also leave very little to the imagination as well.”

Ikkyu shrugged. “I’m not above a little fan service.”

“So I have noted. Goodbye, Ikkyu.”

“Wait a minute. Where are you going? We talked about this, remember? You told me yourself you wanted to get more exercise. Too much time in the lab is not healthy. We agreed. And this is a perfect opportunity. You’re already here, so stay. It’ll be fun.”

“While I find you and your fan club fascinating from an intellectual standpoint as the phenomenon remains unexplained by conventional methods, I have no interest in spending any time with them, especially not in a yoga class. I can think of dozens of better ways to get the exercise I need to improve my health.”

“Don’t be so stubborn. I’ve already got a mat for you and since I knew you’d come wearing that coat, I’ve even got a change of clothes for you.”

Kent shook his head. “I would not do this even if you got me heavily intoxicated, which you have not. Now excuse me. I have research to do.”


	29. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone threw a surprise party. Kent was not amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this revisits an idea from "Glitter and Gold," slightly.
> 
> I like the idea of Kent in glitter. Even plushie Kent and Meido Kent dislike it when stuff like that gets on them, so...
> 
> Party is number thirty on the list.

* * *

“You threw a surprise party?”

“Now, now, Ken, don’t go getting all mad just because you’re wearing glitter. It looks good on you. Suits you.”

Kent glared at Ikkyu, wondering if he really felt like attempting murder. “You know that I can reasonably expect to bury you where no one will find a trace of your body and destroy all forensics tying me to your disappearance.”

“Well, not if you leave a trail of glitter everywhere, so I guess for now I’m safe.”


	30. AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ikki contemplates friendship and other worlds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to use one of my many AUs for this and instead chose to have them discuss how their friendship would be affected by other worlds.
> 
> Because, really, it's hard to picture one of them without the other even when trying to create original characters with some similarities to them.
> 
> AU is number thirty-one on the list.

* * *

“We’re always going to be friends, right?”

Kent looked up from his book, frowning at Ikkyu’s question. “You do realize that such a statement is problematic. ‘Always’ is unquantifiable, and therefore just as much of a problem as never, though never is slightly more accurate if a dangerous fallacy. One cannot promise absolutes. There are simply too many variables. However, it is possible to state that some things have never been done, because in our recorded history, that is a fact.”

Ikkyu blinked. “Okay, not what I had in mind, you know. I wanted some kind of reassurance. Like, I say ‘we’ll always be friends’ and you say, ‘of course, no one else would put up with you,’ that sort of thing.”

“That would reassure you?”

Ikkyu shrugged. “I do know that you’re not exactly a sentimental person—though I still think that will change if you ever fall in love—so yeah, I’d settle for that. I mean, honestly, it’s true. No one else does put up with me like you do. And when I think about it, I can’t picture ever not being your friend. Like, I can’t. I cannot picture any circumstance where we had met but weren’t friends. You and I have been through a lot. We met because your girlfriend dumped you for me. If we can overcome that at the start, we can overcome anything. So… yeah. We’re friends for life.”

“Very well.”

“And if we were in some other freaky universe where things were different—where I didn’t get a wish granted that gave me these eyes or you didn’t like math—we would still be friends. We would be friends in any universe so long as we were both alive.”

Ken frowned. “That may be an exaggeration. True, there are few people who understand either of us, but if I did not like math, then we would have little to bond over, either. So I think you cannot say that we would be friends in that case.”

“Like there would ever be a world where you didn’t like math. Even if you were secretly evil and head of a crime syndicate, you would like math and do all your own accounting. It’s so you.”

“I disagree, but I also do not wish for you create more scenarios like this.”

Ikkyu grinned. “The possibilities are endless.”

“Yes, but that does not mean they need all be discussed.”

“No, they don’t, because no matter what universe we’re in, we’d be best friends.”


	31. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said all along I wasn't doing birthday. I hate birthdays. I hate birthday fic.
> 
> I don't object to anniversaries, so I opted to replace that idea with an anniversary, and when this idea came to me, I knew it needed to be the last one in this series.
> 
> It's a fitting piece, and perhaps all the more so for it being the last, maybe forever.

* * *

Ikki winced as his joints creaked, sounding like they might just give out on him as he sat down. He knew he’d come pretty close to falling, too. He hated getting old. He’d always figured he’d either die young or age gracefully, and he’d done neither of those things.

“Damn, I’m too old for this.”

Ken looked over at him from the other chair. “Then I suppose you must consider me ancient.”

“Yep,” Ikki joked, though Ken barely managed a smile. Ikki knew he wasn’t the only one feeling his age. Both of them were up there now, and everything was harder. Moving, talking, remembering things. They’d already had to sacrifice their math duels after one too many hips breaking.

“It is interesting the distinction three years makes.”

“Don’t start. I don’t want to think about it. I still say you’re not allowed to go before I do. None of them are,” Ikki said, looking over at the extended family they’d amassed over the years. Ken’s kids had married his, so they were bound in a legal sense by now, not just one of feeling. Family. That felt good after too many years with the wrong kind of love. “I couldn’t take it. It terrifies me.”

“Hmm. Then I suppose I should not remind you—though I had to be reminded of it myself—that today is the day we met more than fifty years ago.”

“Damn. We’re both ancient.”

Ken managed a small smile. “Perhaps. Though we have not wasted any of that time.”

“Well, you didn’t, that’s for sure,” Ikki said, grimacing. It had taken him longer to sort his personal life out, but he was happy now. Too happy. He didn’t ever want to lose the love of his life, their kids, or their grandkids. Or his best friend through it all.

“I think I could arguably have done more had I not been so stubborn.” Ken took off his glasses to clean them. “I would have preferred to retain my eye sight, at the very least. What little I have is not enough to do much. I am fortunate to rely on so many advances in technology.”

“We both are.”

“I am glad we met, Ikkyu. At times I admit I could not stand you. I could not understand you. However, my life has been better because you were in it. You gave me friendship when no one else wanted to, when even I thought I did not want it. Thank you.”

“Hey, don’t start that. You are not in my debt. Not at all. You were the first person since I made that damned wish who treated me like a normal person. You’re invaluable to me, Ken. Don’t doubt that. And don’t you dare go going first because you said your goodbyes today. That’s not allowed.”

“As much as you are my friend, I have no desire to die sitting here next to you.”

“Um...”

“There is life yet left in us both. Let us simply continue to enjoy our friendship as we already have all this time.”

 


End file.
